CRASHING CRYSTAL
Wednesday, December 20, 2006 by Pam Mross

Once the choice for life had been made, I began praying every day for Barbaro's recover. But on that dark Thursday in July, when Dr. Richardson informed us of the laminitis, it cut to my heart. Dr. Richardson thought perhaps only 24 hours left with Barbaro. I became enveloped in an intense grief that grabbed hold and would not let go. I cannot remember the last time I cried so hard, those breathless, body shaking sobs. I wandered that day. I found a regal wooden horse covered in brass and brought him home. I placed him by a candle and wrote the following:






">Crashing Crystal

Tears cascade
I breathe deep
Try to get a grip
I can't
My heart hurts
My soul cries
It's not fair

Barbaro is extraordinary
He's a symbol
Of courage, strength
Of beauty, love
The prayers cannot
Go unheard
He cannot die

He cannot die
Not now
He's a representative
For the innocents that suffer
That they have a chance
He is their champion and ours
He cannot die

I can't see
The big picture of things
So am not allowed
To understand
Why things occur
When tragedy visits
Those undeserving

And as I can't see
This big plan
Within the midst
I sit
My tears
My sorrow
Are all all I see

Please dear God
Blanket him with light
During this dark hour
For if he's taken
My heart will break
Shards flying
Like crashing crystal

I've often wondered how many were feeling the same way. I prayed constantly that day. Every thought linked back to Barbaro. The next morning, Dr. Richardson said he seemed a little better. Barbaro's will to live is remarkable and inspiring. My gratitude to Dr. Richardson is boundless.

I rejoiced, thanked God and kept praying.
--Pam Mross